I shouldn't have to write this, but I need to get a few things off my chest π
Read time: 5 minutes
The best experiences in life come from the ones you feel resistance against making.
It would have been sooo much easier to have a lie-in (the only one I get all week), but instead, Bella and I got up at 6 am Sunday to go catch the sunrise at the beach, and man, was it worth it!
Just look at those pics! And they don't do it justice.
Now, I'm sharing this for two reasons:
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1. I love that picture of Bella, and I know quite a few readers love seeing her.
2. The rest of this newsletter is about to get quite aggy, so I needed to balance it out with something nice and wholesome π
Let's get stuck into it, and I mean, get stuck into it...
Drum roll please π₯π₯π₯π₯ .......
Gym etiquette.
That's what we're getting stuck into today.
This has been brought about by a few experiences I've had in the gym recently, with the most recent one being last Friday.
And I don't actually mean my own experiences; they're ones I've witnessed π
I sound like a right nutter!
Before we get started, let's give this topic some validity.
I first set foot in a gym over 20 years ago.
I've been coaching clients for 11-plus years.
I now work solely online, but between 2016 and 2021, I coached on the gym floor.
I spent my last year working at Equinox Kensington, then regarded as the UK's top gym, which has the most incredible customer service. I also won best newcomer coach.
And if you speak to anyone who knows me, especially my mum, ha, they'll tell you that I'm a very polite and well-mannered lad.
So, when it comes to the 'rules' of the gym, better known as gym etiquette, I consider myself very qualified to speak on the subject.
Now, this is going to help you in one of three ways.
- If you're new to the gym, this will hopefully clear up a few things.
- If you've got experience and you reckon you know what the 'rules' are, then hopefully this will solidify them for you.
- If you're one of the obnoxious idiots I'm going to refer to countless times in the coming minutes, hopefully this will shake some bloody sense into you.
I was working out in the gym about two weeks ago when the idea for this email came into my mind. I had actually forgotten about it as quickly as I thought of it, but another 'incident' a few days ago jolted my memory and reminded me that I needed to write it next!
This first 'rule' makes me so angry inside! Like, I can't even explain how much it pisses me off.
Imagine you go to the dry cleaners, and you give them your favourite t-shirt, and they ruin it. Not only do they ruin it, but when you leave the shop, a giant bird swoops down and takes it out of your hands, and then an earthquake happens, and you drop your phone and the screen cracks. Then when you get home, you hear the ice cream truck, but your mum says there is ice cream in the freezer... and it's not even Neapolitan, it's just vanilla.
That's how angry I get π
Rule 1: DON'T stand beside the person who is using the machine you want and look at them like they called you a c*nt.
Honestly, even writing that is boiling my blood ha.
As I said, the first incident that brought this email about happened a couple of weeks ago, but it was preceded by countless others.
I was working out, and I could see this man, clearly a big juice-headed bodybuilder, standing beside one of the leg machines.
A couple who must have been in their 20s were using the machine. They were taking turns using the machine.
The only issue is that this big juice head was literally standing on top of them as they were doing so, as in he had his hand on the machine.
And the cherry on the cake and the last bit of evidence I needed to know this guy was an idiot was the stupid f*cking look on his face.
Standing there like he had some god-given right to use the machine because he was in better 'shape' than the people using it. He couldn't look any more annoyed, although that could also just be the steroids messing him up.
I could see the couple looked uncomfortable, and sure enough they left, and he swooped straight in like some dirty crow π
Can you tell this topic really hits a nerve with me? π
But this is the sort of behaviour that puts people off going to the gym, and as someone who spends his days doing the complete opposite of that, it really pisses me off.
Then this past Friday another case happened about 10 feet from me.
This rather hot blonde caught my eye in the gym, but she did for all the wrong reasons.
Two lads were crushing squats on the smith machine, and I could see they were really enjoying their session...
But standing 6 feet behind them, leaning against a wall, with the most disgusted look on her face was this girl.
Honestly, her body was like a 9.5/10, and she was very pretty, but I couldn't have been less attracted to her if I tried.
She stood there and didn't budge for a solid 7-8 minutes. Only moving to look up from her phone to give the two lads a look of disgust.
And if you think I'm being dramatic, I promise I'm not.
As soon as they left, she marched straight in with the most exasperated look on her face, as if her food order had just turned up but it was two hours late, and it was delivered to the wrong house and her house was on fire.
Again, another example of a very experienced gym goer trying to 'pull rank' because they think their better physical condition allows for it.
And yes, some might read this and tell me to shut the f*ck up, and I don't know what's going on in their life, and I don't, but that doesn't give them the right to act like a dick!
Treat people how you want to be treated; it's as simple as that.
Got a problem with it? Then you're the issue.
But....
If she asked me out on a date, I'd probably still say yes ππ
Now that I've gotten that out of my system, moving on to the rest, and we are going to fly through these much quicker...
Rule 2: Put your weights back
Oh yes, a tale as long as time.
For as long as there have been gyms, there have also been weights on the floor.
Be it dumbbells, barbells, plates, or kettlebells, people love to treat the gym like their dirty home and leave them everywhere but where they found them.
And it's not just leaving them on the floor, but on machines as well. If you go to a machine or a barbell and that machine has no weight on it, and you put weight on it and do your sets, and then you leave without emptying it again... you, sir/mrs, are a dickhead.
Always think, what if a frail 90-year-old going to the gym for the first time tried to use the machine after me?
Don't be a dick and put your weights back. Not only is it the proper thing to do, but it's also a trip hazard when they're scattered everywhere.
Rule 3: Use a towel
This is one I've really adopted since moving to Spain, but even when I lived in the UK I was using a towel in the gym.
Not just to wipe sweat from your brow, but its most important use is putting it on a bench or a machine so your stinky butt and body don't get on it π
Thankfully, most gyms these days have a mandatory towel rule.
Rule 4: Wipe down after yourself
Very closely linked to the previous one, but please wipe down your machine when you're finished using it.
It takes a minute to spray it and wipe it down, making it a clean and enjoyable experience for the next person.
Because is there a nastier feeling than getting to a bench or a machine and seeing a massive sweat patch π€’
Again, treat people (or machines) how you would want to be treated.
Rule 5: Talk to people politely
This is directly linked to number one.
If someone is using the machine you would like to use, don't do what the twats in rule one were doing! Instead, do this:
You - "Excuse me, how many more sets do you have left?"
Them - "I've just started, I've got 4 left"
If it's a machine with weights that can be changed easily, your response could be this.
You - "Would you mind if I worked in with you, please?"
If they're aware of gym etiquette and they're a nice person, they'll typically respond with.
Them - "Yeah, of course, go ahead"
But if it's a machine like a smith machine or a squat rack, or you want to use one side of a cable machine and change the attachment, please go away and find something else to do for a few minutes while they finish up.
You - "Ok no worries, could you give me a shout when you're finished, please, and I'll grab it after you. Thanks a million"
It's really not that hard.
Rule 6: Don't make assumptions
If I'm doing heavy compound exercises such as deadlifts or squats, I'll rest between 3-5 minutes between sets. For some people, that'll be mind-boggling to read, but it's necessary when you're trying to shift heavy weight and maximise your performance.
So if you see me on my phone, don't think I'm just sat there doing f*ck all π
Now some people will just be sat there on their phone, and that's super annoying, but a lot of times it's just folks resting between sets. Some like to stretch, others walk around, and others like to swipe right in-between sets.
Rule 7: Don't act like you own the gym
I've seen people go into a gym and, no word of a lie, do 8 different exercises on a squat rack. Please don't be that person, especially if there's limited equipment.
Do your best to be mindful of others. You don't own the gym. You share it with all the other members. You hogging onto equipment for the entirety of your session just isn't on.
C'mon, let's all play nice and share.
Rule 8: NEVER RECORD PEOPLE!
You have zero right to record someone in the gym. If you see someone doing an exercise that doesn't quite look right, that doesn't give you the right to record them.
No more explaining needed.
Rule 9: Don't get annoyed if someone gets in your shot
Another one that annoys the heck out of me.
If you're on social media and you like fitness content, then there's a strong possibility that you've seen a creator called Joey Swoll.
He's a bodybuilder who calls out people online for doing dumb shit, with the most popular stupid thing being when people are recording themselves working out, and someone walks into the camera shot, causing the person who is recording to act like a massive injustice has been caused and how dare that person walk around a public gym that they have paid for π«
Yeah.... don't be that person!
Phew, I can breathe again.
I've probably missed a few out, so if you can think of any more, pop me a reply and let me know because I'd like to hear them.
The gym is a wonderful place.
It's changed my life, and continues to do so weekly.
It's changed the life of countless clients.
So let's all treat it with the love and respect it deserves β€οΈ
Right, be good, but not too good, and I'll catch you next week.
Mark βοΈ
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