When life gives me lemons, I serve you up some thirst-quenching lemonade
Read time: 4 minutes
I've been in the coaching business for well over a decade now, and when I think back to the person I was back then, that sh*t makes me laugh, cringe, and cry all at once 😂
I suppose we'd all laugh a little when we think back to our 23-year-old selves.
Without sounding too dramatic, I had a few rough-ass days last week. Easily some of the worst I've experienced.
But despite that, I've been able to do something that 23-year-old Mark could never have done ⤵
Take a negative experience in my life, learn from it, and turn it into helpful content in the hope that it helps someone.
It's one of the real benefits of being a coach. No matter how sh*t a situation might be, I'll always try my best to find a teachable moment.
And talking of teachable moments, let's get stuck into one that you've definitely struggled with before...
And what exactly might I be referring to?
Why am I so confident that you have definitely struggled with it in the past?
Because emotional/stress-related eating is something nobody can avoid in their lives!
It bites everyone on the ass numerous times, and in the last week or so, it's paid me an unwanted visit 🖕🏻
I'm extremely fortunate that I've not lost many close people in my life, and touch wood that trend continues.
So I've not really had much experience with real emotional eating.
Like, don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of Häagen-Dazs strawberry cheesecake moments or impromptu pizza orders.
But all in all, I've been quite controlled in this area.
But my usual appetite is in the bloody gutter.
I bought some vegetables last week with every intention of eating them, and I couldn't have had less of an appetite to eat them if I tried.
But do you know what I did have an appetite for?
Pizza, and not even good pizza, just crap, endorphin-filled pizza 😂
The whole no appetite thing can also work in your favour because it took me the full weekend to finish it. Usually, I'm knocking this down in one sitting.
Pros and cons to everything, I suppose.
I'm still eating 75% like I normally do, but I can tell something feels different. The foods I usually don't think twice about suddenly make me want to wretch, while the bag of Maltesers in the cupboard is singing sweet lullabies in my ears.
Now, I'm not telling you any of this to garner any sympathy, but rather to educate you on what stress-related eating is and how to get on top of it.
So, what actually is emotional eating?
Emotional eating is using food to manage how you feel rather than to fuel your body.
Not because you're hungry. But because you're hurting, stressed, overwhelmed, bored, or grieving.
It's your brain looking for a shortcut to feel better.
And here's the thing, it works. Temporarily.
High-fat, high-sugar foods trigger a release of dopamine, the brain's reward chemical. For a few minutes, you feel calmer, more settled, less like the world is caving in.
The problem is that the emotion wasn't dealt with. It was just muted.
And when it comes back, which it always does, it often brings guilt along for the ride.
That guilt creates more stress.
More stress creates more cravings.
And just like that, you're in the cycle.
What's happening in your body?
When you're under stress, your adrenal glands pump out cortisol, your primary stress hormone.
Cortisol's job is survival. In short bursts, it's brilliant. Your body is primed, alert, ready to act.
But when stress sticks around, cortisol keeps rising. And elevated cortisol directly increases appetite and ramps up cravings for calorie-dense foods, specifically sugar and fat.
It's why sleep plays such an important role in fat loss and maintaining optimal body composition levels.
When you're underslept, your cortisol levels increase, making fat loss a harder task than it already is.
Harvard Health has noted that high cortisol levels, combined with elevated insulin, may be particularly responsible for driving those comfort food cravings during prolonged stress (1).
Research published in the journal Appetite in 2022 found that emotional eaters showed significantly elevated cortisol responses to stress compared to non-emotional eaters, alongside disrupted activity in the brain's reward regions, suggesting a kind of neurological double-hit that makes stress-driven eating harder to resist (2).
This is why it's not just about willpower.
Your brain is literally wired to seek out comfort food when life gets hard.
Knowing that doesn't excuse it, but it does explain it.
The human body and mind are a thing to marvel at, but feck me it can be a right pain in the arse at times 😂
So what can you do to get on top of it?
Here are a few things you can try:
1. Name it before you eat it
Before you reach for the biscuits, pause for a few seconds and ask yourself: "Am I actually hungry?"
If the answer is no, you're not dealing with hunger. You're dealing with an emotion.
Naming the emotion,
"I'm stressed", "I'm sad", "I'm anxious",
Creates a small but powerful gap between the feeling and the behaviour.
That gap is where better choices get made.
2. Remove the easy option
If it's not in the house, you can't eat it in a moment of weakness. But good old delivery with the push of a button has made it easier to give in to said weakness 🫠
This isn't about being perfect. It's about making the bad choice harder and the better choice easier.
Stock your kitchen for the version of yourself that's stressed and vulnerable, not the version that's calm and rational at the supermarket.
But as I have shown you with my fridge of dying vegetables, even the best intentions in the world can get ignored.
3. Find another way to regulate
Food works as a stress-reliever because it temporarily lowers cortisol, but it's not the only thing that does.
Exercise, a walk, a conversation with someone you trust, breathwork, even a cold shower, all of these regulate your nervous system without the calorie surplus and the guilt hangover.
They're harder in the momentm but they don't leave you feeling worse afterwards.
4. Don't skip meals
When you're stressed and not particularly hungry for real food, it's tempting to just not bother.
But skipping meals destabilises your blood sugar, which makes cravings for junk food significantly worse later in the day.
Even if it's something small and simple, eat it.
And I can't stress enough (no pun intended) how helpful it is to make your 'healthy food' as tasty as you possibly can.
If that involves a healthy sprinkle of cheese or a big dollop of sauce, then so be it. I'd much rather someone do that and ensure they hit their protein and fibre targets, than opt for the high-calorie, processed, dense crap that is beyond convenient.
Remember, this is about firefighting and looking for small wins. Using cheese to get your protein down your throat is not a long-term solution. I don't want you spreading rumours about my nutrition advice 😂
See it for what it is. Then move on.
Here's the part people get wrong.
They eat something they didn't plan to during a rough patch, beat themselves up about it, feel worse, and then eat more.
This needs to stop 🛑
Emotional eating during genuinely difficult periods of your life is a deeply human response.
It doesn't make you weak.
It doesn't make you a failure.
It doesn't mean you've undone all your progress.
It means you're going through something hard, and your brain reached for the most available source of comfort.
Even as a so-called 'expert', I'm living proof of it.
Acknowledge it. Be honest with yourself about it. And move on.
The problem isn't the pizza during a bad week.
The problem is when it becomes the default coping mechanism every time life gets a bit uncomfortable.
That's when you've got a problem on your hands.
That's when it needs to be addressed, and that's when having the right tools and support around you matters.
One last thing before I go...
I shared this with you because I'm going through it myself right now.
And I thought, if even I, someone who has spent years coaching people through this, can find myself staring down a bag of Maltesers at 10 pm on a Thursday, then chances are you can relate.
You're not broken ⤵
→ You just need better tools.
And if you want help building them, a real plan, built around your life, that accounts for the human moments as much as the gym sessions, I'd love to help you.
→ Book a free coaching call by replying to this email with the word 'READY', and we'll have a chat.
No pressure. No script. Just an honest conversation about where you are and how I can help.
Oh, and I want to give a special shout-out to those of you who sent me messages of support, including my wonderful clients. It means the world to me ♥️
Have a great week ✌️
